Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself? It was two tired.

Today, I asked my phone “Siri, why am I still single?” and it activated the front camera.

Don’t challenge Death to a pillow fight. Unless you’re prepared for the reaper cushions.

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, 'Why the long face?'

Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself? It was two tired.

I don’t have a carbon footprint. I just drive everywhere.

As I get older, I remember all the people I lost along the way. Maybe my budding career as a tour gu

What did the pirate say when he turned 80? Aye matey.

I don’t have a carbon footprint. I just drive everywhere.

How do you organize a space party? You planet.