Want to know how you make any salad into a caesar salad? Stab it twenty-three times.

What did one wall say to the other? I'll meet you at the corner.

The doctor gave me some cream for my skin rash. He said I was a sight for psoriasis.

Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself? It was two tired.

Even people who are good for nothing have the capacity to bring a smile to your face, like when you

Don’t challenge Death to a pillow fight. Unless you’re prepared for the reaper cushions.

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, 'Why the long face?'

Even people who are good for nothing have the capacity to bring a smile to your face, like when you

Even people who are good for nothing have the capacity to bring a smile to your face, like when you

I don’t have a carbon footprint. I just drive everywhere.